well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't put those talents on a resume
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
