i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he puts the penis in happiness.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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