This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
