she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
whose parrot is this?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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