32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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