Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
