you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
