He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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