No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize