I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
