does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
