you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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