she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize