It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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