so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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