hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
