the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
