You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
