Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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