I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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