Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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