my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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