My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
