Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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