hell yes lets make some ravioli
Your dad touched me again.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am naked and annoyed.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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