ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Boobs speak an international language.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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