White coat. Heels.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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