I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
