I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Less talking, more tequila
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
