Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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