My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
