just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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