she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
