high people should be assigned attendants
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
