after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
