Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
