well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
