can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize