The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
