Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
