I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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