i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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