Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
