New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
