Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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