i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
