I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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