I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
