yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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