i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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