Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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