did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
