Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
