My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You can't special order awesome
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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