it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
