I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
