I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
