belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
