I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
