don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
