Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
