Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
