Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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