Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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