I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
