I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Damn victory sex feels great
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize