4 words: hood of his car
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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