I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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