it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
