If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
