apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
