Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
