They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize