Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I look better un-naked...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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