I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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