We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
