does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
