Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
