you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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