no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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